What happens when you discover courage you never knew you had in midlife? As a first-time solo traveler and new retiree at 59, I embarked on a 70-day around-the-world adventure that would change my life. That maiden solo journey in 2019 gave me the confidence to take a bigger step: moving to a new country alone to begin crafting my dream life.
Silencing Fear and Amplifying Confidence
As someone who was an overthinking “scaredy-cat” plagued by a fear of flying, fear of heights, and crippling negative self-talk, I'd always viewed the very idea of traveling alone as impossible. Until I was nearly 60, my paralyzing fears closed me off from adventure. Then, the death of my father and ending of a long-term romantic relationship pushed me to make a change. My decision to start solo traveling was a dramatic shift. It became a turning point that showed me what I was made of.
Solo travel is ideal training for blasting fear and building confidence, which is critical for moving to a new country alone. Traveling by yourself requires you to step out of your comfort zone big time. You have to figure out unfamiliar places and solve problems on your own – just like being a solo expat. Each step of my around-the-world solo trip strengthened my self-confidence and courage. The experience prepared me emotionally for relocating in October 2022 to my new home in Portugal as a solo immigrant.
Falling in Love With Portugal
Portugal was the first stop on my self-organized around-the-world solo trip. I'd read Portugal was a top country for American retirees to live affordably and safely, so I decided to check it out on my solo journey. Portugal offered accessibility, convenience, temperate climate, and affordable beachfront living. I stayed there for 30 days in October 2019, with the picturesque fishing village of Sesimbra as home base. Stunning cliff-top vistas; sandy Atlantic coast beaches; soothing ocean waves with a backdrop of fiery skies at sunset. The magnificent setting coupled with friendly people captured my heart. I didn't yet speak the language, but I knew I felt at home. I knew then that I was going to move to Portugal within the next five years.
I didn't know my house in the United States would sell unexpectedly during a real estate boom two years later, allowing me to jumpstart my relocation plan and make my move two years ahead of schedule. I'm now living north of Sesimbra, in an oceanfront town on Portugal's Silver Coast.
Planning is Key When Moving to a New Country Alone
Just like planning a solo trip, turning a travel destination into a new home takes painstaking research and planning. From December 2021 to September 2022, my preparation before moving alone from the United States to Portugal included:
- applying for and securing a Residency Visa.
- finding local housing, getting a local fiscal number, opening a local bank account, and obtaining local private health insurance before submitting the visa application.
- researching local customs, laws, government procedures, public transportation, and neighborhoods by reading countless blogs and official government sites, joining online expat forums, and watching YouTube videos.
- setting up emergency contact lists on my cell phone and with the U.S. State Department. I enrolled in STEP, the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program before I left the United States. STEP is for Americans living abroad as well as travelers.
- deciding what to purge, pack, and ship to my new home overseas. That can be a daunting and emotional process. I gave away nearly all of my belongings. I traveled with two checked bags and a carryon, and – after extensively researching shipping options– shipped four large bags with a luggage-shipping company for less than the cost of airline extra-baggage fees. The company delivered the bags to my door in Portugal, with no Customs duty taxes.
Home Alone: On the Ground in a New Country
Moving alone to a foreign country can come with the same ups and downs of solo travel. At first, everything feels exotic and exciting. I had to keep reminding myself, “I'm not on vacation. I live here in paradise.” As the newness fades, though, homesickness and loneliness can pop up. Feelings of isolation may creep in. Frustration with delays and setbacks may occur. Building a new life alone in a new country takes patience and grit, but expecting, acknowledging, and planning for the normal roller coaster of feelings will keep you on track in your new home country. My tips for feeling at home and staying positive and confident to face anything after moving alone to a new country include the following.
- Remain connected with loved ones in your native country by scheduling weekly video and/or phone chats.
- Make meeting local people in your new country the number-one priority. Take the initiative. Walk up to folks and smile! Try the language with just a simple greeting. None of my neighbors approached me first. I approached them first with a hello.
- Remember to reciprocate and initiate kindness. I treat people to dinner, lunch, or cocktails, and give gifts of plants, candy, or wine. I bring them souvenirs from my travels. As a result, I am regularly invited to family meals, holiday gatherings, and birthday parties at the homes of my Portuguese neighbors.
- Establish a support network of other expats in your new locale. Social media platforms are a place to start, but don't overlook neighborhood cafes, markets, and even local hair or nail salons as places to meet other immigrants.
- Engage in local activities. Get a library card at your local public library (my town has one on the beach!); join clubs, groups, classes, or Meetups that focus on your areas of interest; commit to trying one new thing (food, phrase, place, route, whatever) every day.
- Learn the local language! There are many free options – online, in person, and with apps – as well as paid options for group and private language lessons online and in person. I've used a combination of all of these.
- Don’t be shy about asking for phone numbers when you meet people. I offer my number first. As a solo midlife woman, I find these connections are critical for my peace of mind. I know people here now. I can call someone if I need help. I am not alone. Start collecting personal cell phone numbers of neighbors and friendly people on day one when you move to a new country alone. Some are now in my phone as local ICE (in case of emergency) contacts.
- Get a list of emergency phone numbers for your city. In Europe, 112 is the equivalent of 911 in North America. But you also want to have the numbers for the local police department, fire department, and health center in your town. Know the location and phone number of your native country’s embassy. I've not needed to use these, but being prepared for an emergency helps me feel more confident in my new home country.
- Combat possible feelings of isolation by taking advantage of new travel opportunities from your new home country. Moving to a different continent has opened the door to easier and more affordable travel options. As an EU resident now, I can hop a quick, cheap flight to Malta, Spain, France, and other European countries for a change of scenery. Flights to Northern Africa from Portugal also are plentiful and very affordable. I don't have a car here but rail and bus travel have made exploring new locales in Portugal easy and inexpensive as well. Two dreary weeks of winter rain on the Silver Coast? Just hop on a bus headed south to the Algarve and enjoy an inexpensive, sunny getaway. Solo travel is easier than ever for me now.
- Celebrate every small win. I’ve lived in Portugal for almost two years. My sense of belonging has been a gradual process marked by personal micro-milestones. Little things – such as mastering the local bus system, making a local dish at home, or successfully switching a local utility contract – made me feel as if I'd won the lottery and continually boosted my confidence and joy. Be sure to make note of and toast every one of your “small” achievements!
Transforming When Moving to a New Country Alone
Moving to a new country alone is a transformative experience. Like solo travel, it builds resilience and encourages self-discovery. I've learned I can handle the unexpected, move forward despite fear, and quickly problem-solve my way through setbacks while crafting a juicy new life that's right for me.
For solo travelers, falling in love with a destination and deciding to move there alone is a bold step. It's a process filled with excitement and many challenges. By learning to embrace the adventure, celebrate the positive, and keep my mind open to every experience, I am thriving alone in my new country at 64.
Turning a beloved travel destination into my happy home has been the most rewarding solo journey of all.
Natalie Y. Wester is a former second-grade teacher who once stood in the Oval Office with the President of the United States as a National State Teacher of the Year. Before becoming a teacher she worked in business for more than 20 years, including as a company vice president and the owner of an award-winning consulting practice. In 2019, Natalie retired at the age of 59. She has spent the last four years reimagining midlife as a first-time around-the-world solo traveler, over-60 whiskey distillery intern, award-winning writer, solo expat, and blogger. We are thrilled to have Natalie join The Solo Traveler Content Creation Team.
